As anyone who is remotely familiar with the hospital labor/delivery scene will know, it's true that the nurse does practically everything until the MD shows up with the catcher's mitt. Well, a few weeks ago I got that "wonderful" experience that every L/D RN will have at least once (if not more) in her career. I got to catch the baby.
Now, I have delivered a baby once in nursing school... of course "Mom" was a mannequin with a mechanical track running down her back and baby was made of plastic. So, needless to say, it's nothing like the real thing. Real people are a lot... squishier, to name one difference. Anyway, it was a routine pitocin induction for a second time mom. Now, I may not have been working too long in this area, but I have learned a thing or two about when delivery time is close. With the epidural rate for women at IHC hospitals running about 90%, this can be a bit trickier. However, there are two good hints that baby is getting close: Mom complains of pressure (which the epidural cannot take away) and baby's heart beat slows down along with contractions and comes back up again.
Mom was as happy as a clam, epidural working perfectly. Admittedly it had been a while since her cervix had last been checked, but as baby looked great and there were no complaints of pressure, we just mosied along. When mom said she was feeling a tiny bit of back pain, and could she get a redose, I thought nothing of it. The anesthesiologist got her all nice and comfy and then I noticed that that baby just wouldn't stay on the monitor. I finally decided just to check the mom's cervix, thinking that we must be getting close. Apparently all that was holding that baby in was the fact that the mom's legs were closed, because as soon as I moved them, there was that bluish-black, gooey little head making his way into the wide world. As I am unfamiliar with the set up of these hospital rooms (therefore not knowing where the emergency button is) I had to run out to the nurses' station yelling, "She's crowning! She's crowning!"
I had just enough time to run back in and pull that baby out. The midwife got there pretty quickly after that... but all the fun was over by then! Fortunately both mom and baby were a-ok, and now I can say that I have delivered a baby with my own two hands. What a day!
I am giggling picturing Heather running down the hall yelling. I have not delivered any babies with my own two hands, but I have delivered four of them with my own you-know-what and each one was an adventure.
ReplyDeleteOh super little sister made a big exciting to catch a baby! Good job, Heather.
ReplyDeleteEvery time I hear or read the words: "She's crowning! She's crowning!" I think of Dad's story in the hospital, where the drunk guy with ascites was dressed up like a pregnant woman. Poor nurse who did that cervical check.
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Head. One more and you'll have matched my total.
I bet the head probably came all the way out while you were running up and down the hall yelling, "she's crowning!, she's crowning!" You can't run away when she's crowning and still expect to be there for the delivery.
ReplyDeleteDid she make it through the end of the nineth with no rips, no runs, and nooo tears. If you don't know what that means ask Lance because it is a baseball analagy that I made up to describe some of my deliveries. The baseball analagy is brought to mind because the doctor sits there like the baseball catcher waiting for the delivery.
Anyway, what I meant was, did she need any sutures? Did you deliver it over an intact perineum as we say? Did you remember to use the proper "Dammschutz"? In Austria where I learned to deliver babies I took pride in not getting a "Dammriß". When nurses deliver a baby in the bed they really cannot do that very well, so "Dammrisses" (rips, runs, tears or lacerations) should be more common. You know that I became popular in the Hmong community because (especially before it became popular with obstitritians) I was often able to avoid a "Dammschnitt" by judiciously using the proper "Dammschutz".
If you are starting to get tired of this whole "Damm" conversation, I am sorry. It is just that I never learned the English word for "Dammschutz" when I came back to America. It is kind of sad because I like that word and I never get to use it. The American doctors that I worked with never seemed to talk about it very much. I do know the English word for "Dammschnitt" that is episiotomy. In case you are still wondering, "Dammschutz" ist die geburtshilflichen Handgriffe zum Vermeiden eines Dammrisses.
Anyway, good work Heather--I'm sure this won't be your last delivery. Ten thousand two hundred sixty-two more and you will have matched my total.
I enjoyed reading your family's comments almost as much as your post. They're funny!--even if my little brain wasn't able to quite keep up with all the medical jumbo.
ReplyDeleteI did get the German though. Now I know why it's called a Dammschnitt--that's what it feels like. German is such a practical language.